Captain’s Drive In 2018

Captain’s Report Week 1

After the AGM on Friday evening attended by Gary Knight and a few others only (;-0) I was sworn in as the new Captain of Chingford Golf Club for the years 2018/2019.  Major was also sworn in as Vice-Captain and thus Chingford became a club run by Northerners probably for the first time in its history!  Ha, beware!

So on to Sunday we go and first up for the new Captain and Vice are Messrs Arkell and Lawrence (Junior) who are chomping at the bit to give us a wupping.  But where is Major?  He phones to say that he is stuck in traffic on the North Circular but should just make the tee time……………………..and he did!

It begins!

Captain and Vice get off to a good start and win the first hole with a par 4 from Vice.  Lawrence then levels things up on the 2nd and we are still flat after 3.  Arkell then tees off on the 4th and puts it 20 yards in front of him in the ditch. He finds his ball and hits it out of the ditch and bizarrely 2 balls come out at the same time – none of us knew the ruling on that one but his ball was back in play so we carried on.  Only for Arkell to then hit it a further 50 yards back into the ditch and walk the rest of the hole.

Captain and Vice are so traumatised by this event that we fall apart (well Captain anyway) and end up 3 down coming down the 9th only for Vice to save the day and win the 9th with a par.

On the back 9 Captain actually remembers that he can play golf and after a string of 4’s we are still 2 down coming up 17 needing to win to keep the match going.

Unfortunately Arkell and Lawrence didn’t read the script and promptly halved the hole to consign Captain and Vice to their first defeat, and hopefully last, of the season.

Gits, never liked them anyway.  Wilson and Lovney next week – I know how nice they are……..

So on to the Captain’s drive-in and putt-out.

Dickie shows why his handicap has dropped by 4 shots over the year and casually back-flicks his second putt into the hole on the 18th green and so it’s over to me as Captain to drive-off.

After Gareth (Epping Captain) graciously sets up quite a fair tee and with everything clenched Captain manages to make a decent contact and the ball flies down the fairway.  Off the fairway and into a bush!

Kevin O manages to find the ball after less than 5 minutes of looking and the measurement is made.  Then a debate begins as to where the measurement should be made as several metres are lost as Kevin O takes the ball back to the fairway for a straight line measurement.

Unfortunately that means that Captain hasn’t managed to out hit that pesky Durman bloke.  143 metres is recorded as the distance measured (should have been more than 150 metres!)

To make matters worse Durman then actually wins the money from guessing the distance.  (Kevin O and Durman were, allegedly, later seen exchanging cash in the cloakroom, ahem!)

Durman graciously donates some of his winnings to the Captain’s charity as does the runner up Wilson – thank you both.

After Vice makes a very nice speech thanking everybody and saying some encouraging words about the me being the new Captain I take over the mike and share my thoughts and ideas for the year as well as confirming the Captain’s charity for the year – CALM.

For anybody wanting to make a donation at any time then please visit –

All donations are greatly welcome.

A series of events for the year were announced and everybody involved with the club were encouraged to take part in some way to support them where they could throughout the year. These events and other activities will be emailed out to everybody shortly.

Lastly word was given as to the plans for the Xmas quiz.

This year we are looking at combining a Texas Scramble Golf Match, a Xmas meal and the quiz all on the same day (15th December) so please let me know if you want to be involved in any of these by email, phone or by writing on the sheet put up on the notice board in the club.

We have also just had confirmation from the DJ that the New Year Party has been booked as January 26th 2019 and it will be 80’s themed so get your old (or current) wardrobe out!  More info to follow including ticket prices and timings but please put this date in your diary now!

Finally from me a big thank you again to everybody that attended yesterday and made the day very special, it was lovely to see you all and I really am grateful for your support.

I very much appreciate the honour of being your Captain for the year and will try and make it the best year that I can.

Yours till next time.

Captain Margrave.

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